


We never were

by VrottaBuddaPanda



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, Extremis, Hurt Tony Stark, Loss of Limbs, Not Steve Friendly, Permanent Injury, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Had A Heart, Tony Stark Has Arc Reactor, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, broken Tony Stark, but not anymore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 21:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15649062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VrottaBuddaPanda/pseuds/VrottaBuddaPanda
Summary: A strange numbness started wrapping itself around him, going all the way to his heart, making him painless,  numbing on its way also his basic will to survive. And then his emotions were muffled, almost completely gone leaving in their place a wall of indifference.OrHow Tony gets his heart broken and this time he refuses to repair itOrAfter what the public calls ‘Civil War’ Tony is hurt and with two limbs down, but that won’t stop him from doing whatever he can do to prepare the world for Thanos.This is my first fan fiction and English isn’t my mother language so I’m eager to know  what you think





	1. Tired

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the errors

Tired, Tony felt tired, from the second Ste… Rogers left with his bestie all the murderous rage just abandoned him. The adrenaline rush ceased and all the pain came. His head hurt, his arm hurt and his chest absolutely throbbed with pain (a broken sternum could do that). Also he just realised how cold it was and being in an iron coffin didn’t help. 

The suit weighted too much to sustain and gravity brought him down. 

Years of friendship, of trust, years of being a supposed family, they were all lies. He thought he had a family and he lost them, no, not lost, they left him. What was Clint even doing there? Wasn’t he retired? 

His breathing was ragged. He definitely had at least a couple of broken ribs, mabye a punctured lung.

All left but Rhodey and Vision, who were paralized and heart-broken respectively. Even Pepper couldn’t deal with him anymore. Wow, now that was a pity party.

He started tasting iron on the back of his throat.

He felt utterly alone, betrayed, hurt and kinda guilty. But most of all, he just felt tired. Tired of doing the betrayal thing all over again, tired of having his trust shoved in his face, again, tired of having to get up and fix it, again, tired of this routine of broken trust, just tired of living a life full of betrayal and loneliness. Pain seemed to be his most loyal companion since Howard first hit him.

The cold clawed its way up his body. He needed to get out of the suit… something like five minutes before.

Was he doomed to have his trust broken or was it just faith having a sense of humor? Maybe he even deserved it, maybe he just had it coming for expecting mutual respect and trust. Geez, It felt like Obie all over again.

He couldn’t feel the tip of his right hand anymore.

The realization hit him like like a truck: he was alone. Nobody knew where he was, St… Rogers and his boyfriend left, his kittines was probably gone too (yeah he knew Garfield was there, thank you very much, but hey they could have used a paw against Zemo so…, also, he kinda liked the guy), the suit couldn’t fly or call for help, he was alone. Tony Stark was going to die silently without anyone noticing. He would have laughed at the irony of it if it wasn’t for the blood half choking him.

With the suit down the only way to reach the relise button was through sheer force, but the suit’s arm weighed too much and he… he was stuck.

Man had he messed up bad this time. He thought about closing his eyes for good. He was so tired. God was he tired. Maybe he could just sleep for awhile. Wasn’t that a bad idea with a concussion? Wouldn’t he risk dying? would that be such a bad thing? Did it hurt? Mabye it wouldn’t hurt if he was sleeping. Mabye he could just lay there and pass out. Mabye for once in his life he would be lucky. 

So he just lay there until sleep or death finally claimed him (he didn’t know wich, only that he was embraced by lovely darkness). 

* * *

He woke up with a start, darkness all around him, pain and cold deep inside his veins. His tired eyes moved around, only to be met by silence and shadows.

He must be dead, and this must be hell, or something.

He lay back down

“So this is the great Iron Man? Tony ‘fucking’ Stark I presume” the woman’s voice didn’t sound impressed. He opened his eyes and saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her skin was olive dark, in contrast with her light blue, almost white, eyes, her light brown hair fell in a waterfall of curls on her back and her lips were full and white. Her cheekbones were sharp as knifes. Her body tall and majestic. But he was too tired to smile or comment about it, so he just layed there and stared at her, his face blank giving nothing away.  


“The one and only” he tiredly answered. She looked down on him and then offered her hand. He took it. Her hand was freezing cold but he was used to that at this point, how many hours was he concious in freakin Siberia before he fell asleep (because this must be a dream)? One? Two? Five?.  


“Six and a half” she responded, apparently reading his mind. Yep, definitely a dream. “No, it isn’t”  


“Ok, that’s creeping me out, could you just… not do that?” He asked, voice wavering just a little.  


“As you desire” was her response, but he was sure she was still reading his mind. A small satisfied smile made its way on her face, probably a response to his latest thought. Her smile grew wider.  


“Who are you and what do you want from me?” He inquired, letting his curiosity show.  


“Why do you think I want something from you?” She wondered.  


“Everyone does. So, what is it?” He demanded a bit impatient.  


At that she took a moment to observe him. After a few seconds or so, she finally answered his question. “I want you to reunite the Avengers.” He looked at her like she was crazy, wich she probably was if he was being honest with himself. Half of them were in prison, another two were fugitives, and the last two were broken. And then there was him, more broken that he had ever been, broken by one, two counting that probably Romanov knew too, of them. What could possibly be so important? “There is a threat” she explained. Well when isn’t there one? he asked himself. “A big one” how big? And when exactly did he give up speaking? “It threatens all of Creation” so… big enough.  


“I suppose the cold and being Rogers punching bag will leave me with some presents, won’t it? How can I piece them back together when I’m trying to survive?” He pleaded. He was probably going to miss a couple of fingers, mabye a hand, depending on how much time it took to find him. And then there was the concussion.  


“You’ll survive” she assured him. “You are stronger than you think, and I’ll make sure you make it”.  


“How do you have the power to make this kind of promise? Who are you? And how come you think you can stop me from dying?”  


“Oh Tony, I thought you would have figured it out by now, I’m Death” he froze for a second before relaxing. “Not surprised?” She asked brows forrowing noticing his behavior.  


“Not really, seen too much weird shit in my life to be surprised I suppose” the concussion might have a hand in that too. He watched her for a moment. “I’ll do it” she sighed relived “but” at this she perked up, not expecting demands as she just saved him from herself. “Then, can you heal Rhodey?”  


“Ah, your friend right?” At his nod she continued “no, the damage is already done, I can only save you because you’re not dead yet. I can stop things from happening but not change what already happened” taking pity on him she chose to give him one last gift “is there anything else you want?” Taking him by surprise she watched as he tried to seriously think about it.  


“Pain” he said  


“What?”  


“I can’t deal with it anymore, I just can’t, it’s too much”  


She looked at him with a sad and slightly surprised face, before she agreed with a nod. “I’ll see you too soon for it to be a goodbye, Stark, so go back to sleep”.

She placed a hand on his forehead.

He closed his eyes just before the darkness swallowed him. And something inside of him snapped.

A strange numbness started wrapping itself around him, going all the way to his heart, making him painless, numbing on its way also his basic will to survive. And then his emotions were muffled, almost completely gone leaving in their place a wall of indifference.


	2. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes and has a surprise

He was surrounded by darkness, it enveloped him, making him cold. No, wait, he wasn’t cold, but he wasn’t warm either, he felt numb. He wasn’t even panicked about it, he felt confused and strangely calm. Was that wrong? ‘Who cares’, said a little voice in his head ‘you aren’t in pain are you? So who cares as long as you aren’t in pain’ Right, ok, no pain, that’s good.

He tried to open his eyes but found it to be extremely difficult. He heard some noises coming from his right. Slowly and with some difficulty his eyes opened. Even in the blurriness he recognized Rhodey and Pepper. They were looking each other in the eye, having a silent discussion. Their eyes were puffy and red. Pepper’s were still wet. He watched them for some time before he noticed the wheelchair Rhodey was sitting in. Shit, he forgot about that, he was paralyzed because of him, because of his loyalty to him. Maybe that’s why people in his life aren’t loyal, because those who are get hurt. 

A strangled noise that was meant to be ‘I’m sorry’ made its way past his lips making them aware of his wakefulness. They looked startled at first, but after a moment they regained their senses and hugged him. It was like he had just returned from Afghanistan again, it certainly felt like it. He tried to talk again only to have the same results as before, and suddenly there was a red hand with a cup of water and a straw in it in front of him. He restrained himself from jumping and looked at Vision thankfully. The android smiled at him. They became closer in the months previous to the accords, since he was Vision’s creator he felt almost like a father, just like he was to all of his creations. He moved to take the cup in his right hand, just, there was no movement. He looked down and saw the problem with his own two eyes: there was no hand, heck, there was no forearm. 

He froze, there were voices, people speaking to him, but he couldn’t hear any of them, because half of his arm was gone. 

But he was right handed, it couldn’t be, he couldn’t be missing half a arm, he couldn’t work like that! No, it must have been a dream, wait, the dream. Was it a dream? God he had no idea, but he knew this would happened, it’s just, he couldn’t… he just… he couldn’t. But what if it was real? Then he needed to know how much damage was there, to repair it, fix it, to move on and reassemble the Avengers.

He scanned his body for other wounds and found another absence, his left leg. Up to his knee there was nothing. 

He stayed calm, ‘deep breaths’ his mind reminded him. Ok, he could build them, he would build them, he could totally do that. It’s ok, it wasn’t a problem, this was what he did, he fixed things, he could fix himself. Death told him this would happened, and he needed to have his shit together to go on and save the universe.

He swallowed

He was going tu brush his face with his right hand before he caught himself. He moved his left one, his movements restricted by a cast, inspecting it, noting a slight tremble and a half missing annular, right, he could fix that too, before brushing his face. He stopped mid action as something felt off. He repeated the movement feeling his face, noting the fact that the tip of his nose was missing, as was the left side of his upper lip, where in its place there were only teeth. There were stitches on his left brow. His left ear was gone, too. Not so easy to repair those ones.

There was something else, something felt… different. His chest was heavier. Oh no, not again, he looked down and saw the arc reactor shining through the bandages surrounding his torso. ‘Surprise!’ his mind supplied helpfully. Alright he couldn’t fix that, but maybe extremis could. 

He started noticing the silence present in the room.

They were all watching him intently expecting some kind of reaction, cries, screams, something. But nothing came, he just watched them with a calm he never felt before and remembered asking for no more pain to Death. She probably thought that he was talking emotions too. And he was, he just didn’t expect to be… this… this calm. Finally he asked “who found me?”

They looked confused for a moment - it was a weird first question - but he needed to know.

“Ms. Romanov did, Sir” Vision sometimes used ‘Sir’, he inherited it by J.A.R.V.I.S.  


He nodded, she must had heard S… Rogers. 

Rhodey got closer “who did this to you?”  


He thought about telling the truth, that one of his own did it, but he was to rebuild the Avengers, and if they knew, they wouldn’t let him.  


“The super-soldiers did” wich wasn’t technically a lie.  


“Where were Steve and Bucky?” He asked then.  


“They were fighting too” wich wasn’t a lie, either.  


“Why did they leave you?” Was his next one.  


“I made them leave” not a lie.  


“Why?” Oh this was a good one.  


“Hey hey hey! What’s up with this interrogatory?” He asked with a brow up. At the absence of response he finally answered “They couldn’t stay there” it was the truth.  


“Why not?”  


“I would have had to arrest them” ok, this was close.  


“I don’t understand, you were dying, was it really more important for them not to get caught?” Ah, here it is.  


“They called Nat” he said as a way of explanation. And it was still the truth.  


“It wasn’t enough, they needed to do more” Rhodey said firmly.  


“I didn’t die, did I?”  


“You didn’t die? Tony, have you seen you?! You’re one leg and one arm down, the arc reactor is back to keep pieces of the suit from your heart, your sternum had to be replaced, your chest is a mess and you got only half your face, how can you possibly be so calm?!”  


“Must be the drugs, or the shock” LIE. Hell he hated lying to them since the Palladium incident. “I need to go home” he had to build, but he needed someone, maybe Rhodey, or even Harley, he was fifteen now, he could do it.  


“You need to get rest” Pepper intervened.  


“I need my leg. I need my arm. I need to adjust the suit to be stronger, how long have I been here?” He asked.  


“Three days here, two before you were found”.  


“I’ve rested long enough”he said convinced.  


“No, you really haven’t and I won’t let you go like this!” Replied Pepper  


“Ok, on one condition” both Rhodey and Pepper perked up in interest. “You get rest too, and I mean go home, take a shower, eat something and go to bed, I bet in these three days you haven’t gone home and you can’t convince me otherwise, no offense but you smell”. At this he scrunched up his nose in distaste.

They put up a fight but he won, still Vision would be there, but he wouldn’t stop him. They said their goodbyes and left.

He was going to get up when he remembered about the leg. “Viz, could you pass me that wheelchair?” The android didn’t move “please?”  


Vision floated to the chair as he moved to get down the bed. “To be clear I advise against this course of action” said the android.  


“I know Viz, I know” he sat on the chair with little difficulty and made Vision wheel him to the car Friday called for him, since Happy wouldn’t let him leave, probably on strict orders from Pepper. Once they arrived at the Compound he let a breath out, he had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who should Tony meet next chapter?


	3. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wakanda and extremis

Harley and Pete were waiting for him when he came back ready to assault him with a huge hug, that would be Harley not spider-boy, he was in the standing awkwardly in the background until Tony widened his arm inviting him too, then it was all limbs, tears and a crazy amount of questions, from “how are you?” to “what happened Mr. Stark?” To “since Rogers has the super soldier serum, how many times could I, only figuratively obviously, kill him?” Also “can extremis rebuild them?” And “dude, what’s extremis?” And another thousand questions fired so quickly he couldn’t even understand them. After a while they let him go and started to mother hen him. It was all ‘you need to eat’ and ‘how would you know he hasn’t eaten already?’ and ‘we have a bond’ eccetera. When he finally managed to escape them he had showered, eaten and had two full hours of sleep. When has he gon this soft? It must be old age.

* * *

Wakanda

Steve entered the common room after his morning run. Everyone but Clint was watching the tv intently. He saw on the screen Tony’s photo and went still. That was probably why Clint wasn’t there, he was pretty angry with the billionaire “What’s happening?” He asked preoccupied. Natasha never returned his calls after she went to retrive Tony and for the last two weeks no one heard from the billionaire. There were voices on the tabloids that he was gone missing despite of the reassurance of Pepper’s words regarding his well being. She said in a press conference that he was alive but nothing more.  


“A representative of the U.N. is talking about Stark” said Sam, to him Tony became Stark after the Raft.“He’s saying Stark made a statement to the accord committee, saying that the three of you fought the five super soldiers and won, but apparently he got injured and won’t make appearances any time soon. He also said Stark is pushing for us to be pardoned”. He seemed unconvinced, while everyone else seemed confused.  


It was Wanda who spoke first. “Why would he do that, didn’t you say he tried to arrest you but you escaped? Why would he want us pardoned if he wanted us in prison?” Seeing his confused expression she grew preoccupied. “Steve?”  


“I have no idea” he said sincerely. Why? Why would he free them? Was it a trap for Bucky to go back home only for him to try kill him again? No, Tony was a good man, he wouldn’t do that.  


“Was he injured? Man, you didn’t tell us he was injured. Did he try to arrest you while he was injured? Wait, did you injure him?” Scott asked a bit startled by his own accusation. Everyone froze.  


All eyes on him Steve got nervous “I was only… he tried to…” at the end he settled on “I couldn’t let him take Bucky”.  


“Steve, what did you do?” Sam asked still calm. When his only response was a guilty look, he sighed. “Steve, please”  


“I broke his arc reactor”  


There was a gasp from Scott and everyone turned towards him. “You did what? How did he get back then?”  


“I called Natasha, she brought him home” there were some relived breaths.  


Noticing his still guilty look, T’Challa got up from the couch. “How long after you broke his reactor?” He asked

No response

“Steve, when did you call Ms Romanov?”  


Everyone’s attention was on him again. “After the first missing announcement” a moment of absolute silence passed “forty two hours after the fight”.

Mouths slightly agape everyone looked at him incredulous. Then hell broke through.

“You left him in a Hydra base with a broken reactor in freezing freakin’ Siberia!?” Scott yelled  


“What were you thinking?” Sam  


“Were you even thinking?” Wanda  


“How is it possible? Captain America doesn’t do things like that!” Scott

Another thousand questions were thrown out there while he made himself smaller and smaller before the one that silenced them all: “Are we sure he is even alive at this point?” Wanda. And silence fell.  


“Pepper said he was” Sam said  


“She said he was alive, not that he wasn’t in a coma or something” Scott responded  


“But the statement he made…” Steve tried  


“Could be a fake made by the committee, to push for our pardons so that we sign the accords with someone on their side for the public” Wanda reasoned.  


“It would explain the pardons” said Shiuri. T’Challa seemed livid.

No, it couldn’t be, he didn’t put Tony in a coma, it wasn’t possible, it just wasn’t possible. He started panicking, tuning them out. But what if he did? What if he put one of his closest fiends in a coma? What if he did that to the person that offered him a home, founds and a family? Oh God no, nononononono, he needed to get out of there, he needed to get away.  


He started running, and kept running till he found himself in an a garden he didn’t recognize  


What did he do?

* * *

He worked night and day with Friday to make the blueprints of the arm he had sent to the kid. He had complete faith in Harley, he was in M.I.T. after all, first year, man was he proud. 

The spider-ling helped too, making the designs following his word as if it was a crime not to. It was seven weeks since his trip to Siberia and he hadn’t had one nightmare. But still, sleep came as easy as breathing with the arc reactor. He still woke up at night, just without cause, wich was pretty unnerving. 

Whatever, he didn’t need sleep, he needed to perfect Extremis. 

So he did, barely sleeping or eating, drinking only coffee as if it was water, closing the workshop down until he would be ready to face the world. He hadn’t even watched himself his the mirror yet. 

Natasha passed once. She almost gasped at what she saw. The almost-gasp would have passed unnoticed by anyone else, but he knew her. He saw the way her eyes widened almost unnoticeably, or the way she gulped. 

He ignored it all. Feigning ignorance. 

They talked about what happened and he gave her the same version as the one others got: they fought the super-soldiers, the guys escaped, yadda yadda yadda. His face blank through it all. Also, he had previously convinced T’Challa to change his statement about her, so she was free. 

At first when he told her, she was confused, being the one having retrieved him she knew how mad with her for lettin them go he should have been, but then her forrowed brow smoothed out, and she just turned around and went left.  


Two days later was the day he would inject extremis, it wouldn’t regrow his biggest arts, but the nanobots in his body would make it easier to attach and control his arm and leg. It would also make him stronger possibly, if it worked. 

Again he found himself strangely calm, the syringe in his left hand, he took a deep breath “here goes nothing” and injected it. His veins immediately started lighting up like a Christmas tree in a light blue color expanding through his body. The lip, finger, nose and ear regrew, they were soft and bright pink, but they were there. For the first time he looked in the mirror. He could see almost every single vein in his body, his skin a bluish shade, and his eyes arc reactor blue. After a minute or so it faded, making him look as normal as a legless and armless Tony ‘fucking’ Stark could look. Still, he smiled at the mirror. His muscles were more defined, but he wasn’t as bulky as Rogers or Barnes. He also seemed a decade younger. No pain came with the process, even if it should have felt ‘oh so painful’. Nanobots in his body, the arm and leg next, the name Iron-Man was becoming realer and realer by the day, he laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think and who tony should meet next chapter
> 
> P.s.  
> Thank you thatmarvellover for the suggestion, hope you like it


	4. The ones left behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura Barton & Steve get a surprise

Three weeks and he had enaugh proof against Ross to put him away for good. 

Another two and Ross was in prison. 

Another one and his new titanium arm was ready. Harley and Pete met again and helped him attach it, apparently they bonded over mothering him since they were so in synchrony they finished each other sentences. It was a relief to him to see tha boys getting along. His new silver arm shined in the light of the workshop. 

Two hours for him and Rhodey as he finally had two arms to start wheelchair-races against each other, three for him to start working on Rhodey’s braces. 

Two weeks and they were created and it took him all of two minutes to wheel himself to Rhodey to try them on, they worked. 

Another four weeks and his leg was ready, the kids helped him attach this one, too. His new arts moved as smoothly as flesh ones would have. Their silver coloring was ‘cool as Hell’ to quote Harley.  


Three days and he caught wind of Ross’ idea of revenge: to act on who was left behind. 

Forty minutes and he was in a jet in front of the Barton’s farm. Deep breath he remembered. He was going to Laura after two years and no team, but more importantly, no Clint. He got to the front door and knocked, not feeling the guilty look he was wearing. The door opened slightly showing a gun, behind there was a scary looking Laura Barton. To his credit he didn’t seem anything other than bored “I wouldn’t have knocked if I meant any harm” he declared the obvious. She raised an eyebrow.  


“Might be a trap” she reasoned. “He’s not here” anger evident in her voice  


“I know, he wouldn’t put you in danger like that”. Barton wasn’t an idiot after all. Actually he was pretty smart, he never would have risked it by hiding in his own home, secret or not.  


“What are you doing here at three a.m. then?” He looked around noticing just then the darkness around them. He looked at his watch, it was three a.m. Wow, he had really lost sense of time in the workshop.  


“You are in danger, you and the kids” he raised his gloved hands to show he was harmless. He put a long sleeved short and gloves to not scare the children, not that his face couldn’t to a damn good job at scaring kids, but better safe than sorry.  


“Why would you help us? Clint fought against you”.  


“I’m a duchebag not a monster”.  


“Still don’t believe you”  


He sighed “then shoot me” at her incredulous look he elaborated “if you don’t believe me the shoot, but after take the kids and go ‘cause you’re in danger” she watched immobilized for all of five seconds. Oh god she was going to shoot him for real. ‘Death by angry mother of three’ will read the papers. He always knew he was going to die by the hand of some angry woman. He sighed and closed his eyes, at least she was going to run after, probably. He opened his eyes, ready for th incoming sho-  


“Okay”. She agreed finally, then reluctantly lowered her gun and let him in. “In danger from what?”  


“Ross” he responded letting out a breath. The bastard had a twisted sense of humor, making him save the families of the people he fought.  


“The news said you took care of him?”she sounded confused.  


“Revenge”  


“How much time have we got?”she asked as she as she took three suitcases from a wardrobe, giving him her back.  


“two, three ours?”  


“Good” at this she turned around and hit him square in the jaw. It was a good hit. He didn’t even flinch. He actually didn’t feel a thing.  


“Hey” he said in mock offence.  


“This is for the Raft”  
“I didn’t put them in there” he calmly responded rolling his eyes.  


“Your actions did”  


“Their actions did, and I wasn’t the one who called Clint.”  


“Steve had a good reason though, the supersoldiers? You said it yourself, you fought them together, you won, all thanks to Steve, or so the tv said”  


“He didn’t say anything to me or the U.N., they didn’t know, heck I didn’t know, he could have called but he didn’t, he didn’t trust me as he trusted all of the others, Clint included.”  


“Could you blame him after Ultron?”  


“No, I really can’t, because he didn’t listen to my explanation, I wasn’t even close to an interface when-”  


“But he was right, wasn’t he? Steve I mean, Clint… he had a good reason to leave us, right?” At this point she was pleading, a tear threatening to fall.  


He took a deep breath, there was no reason good enough to leave your family he thought. The next words were going to hurt him, but it was for her good “Yes, Steve was right, he was right all along, and Clint helped in saving the world” no pain, it didn’t hurt a bit, he still felt calm and…void, it would be terrifying, if he could feel terrified, but that way, he could get used to it. She nodded.  


“Ok, ok… what happened to your face?” She asked curiously noticing the scar colored parts “you don’t have to answer I-”  


“Siberian cold”  


“Oh, ok, where are we going?” She asked as she made her way up the stairs.  


“The compound, but first a couple of stops” he followed her. She went through a door and returned with litttle Nathaniel. She gave the sleepy child to him. He took the baby carefully, keeping the child at arm-length as if he was holding a bomb. The woman had the nerve to laugh at him.  


She stared packing hers and her kids’ stuff. She woke the children and made them dress, taking them down the stairs and through the field to the Jet, he followed suit. 

Once in the jet he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. With the children fast asleep he piloted the jet to his next stop: the Langs. “Stay inside, I’ll go to take them” she watched as he went to the door and a man in his pajamas responded, took one long look at him and called for someone, then a woman was there punching him in the face before giving him the chance to explain himself. 

After a minute or so, he came back with a broken nose. She got up, grasped his jaw and snapped his nose back in place. Again, he didn’t even flinch. “Thank you” he murmured. 

Twenty minutes later, there were three other people in the jet. “Laura Barton, Cooper Barton, Lila Barton and Nathaniel Barton” he pointed to them. “Jim Paxton, Cassie Lang, Maggie Paxton”. They nodded to each other and then they were in the air again. 

The little girl, Cassie, got up and went to Stark’s side “what happened to your nose?” 

Stark leaned down and with a smirk said “I wanted to look like Rudolph” 

Cassie giggled but then noticed that his ear, eyebrow and lip were also scarred. She asked again 

“Well, do you know who Elsa is?” Stark asked the little girl 

She forrowed her eyebrows “The girl from the cartoon with ice powers?” 

He nodded, then whispered in a conspiratorial tone “she’s real” 

The little girl gasped “really?” 

He nodded again “and she and I got into a prank war with each other. She thought it would be funny to freeze my face” the little girl was listening with rapt attention at this point 

“Why did you start a prank war?” She asked 

“I bet you’re gonna agree with me that Iron Man is way cooler than C-3PO” 

Cassie nodded vehemently “C-3PO can’t fly” she agreed 

“Exactly! You get me!” He exclaimed making the girl smile “so when she called Iron Man ‘a bad copy of C-3PO’ I was outraged! So I called her ‘a bad copy of a freezer’ and so we got into a prank war” the girl was in a fit of giggles at this point but still listened to his next words “so she froze my face and now I’ve got something similar to a cold, but only some parts of me are cold” 

Cassie nodded taking in the explanation. Her mother was watching warily the situation, but Laura could admit that Stark seemed to be unexpectedly good with the little girl 

On the next stop there were Hope Van Dyne and Hank Pym, who instead of punches had sharp tongues in store for him. It took fifty minutes to convince them to come with him. Sharon Carter was easier to convince. After that Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis who thankfully didn’t tase him. They made other two stops which got him a slap and a kick in the shin, but finally Wilson’s mother and sister, Joyce and Melody, and the sister’s dog Marley, were on board and they could go back to the compound. The bruises were healed by Extremis before even arriving. Once there, he gave each family a floor and finally got back to work, he had a suit to work on. 

* * *

Wakanda

Steve was in his room sleeping when something woke him up, there was something cold pushed against his throat, something cold and sharp. His eyes snapped open, Natasha looked back at him, knife in hand and eyes full of 

“Nat, what is g-”  


“What did you do to him Steve?” She asked, voice cool and steady.  


“I don’t know what you’re talking ab-”  


“What happened in Siberia?” She tried again, anger now evident in her voice.  


“Nothing I… he… we… we fought the soldie-”  


“I’ll ask one last time Rogers, what. happened. in. Siberia?  


So he told her, he told her everything. He told her about the truce. He told her about the dead soldiers. He told her about the video. He told her how he tried to lie. Told her about he is my friend and so was I. He told her about Bucky’s arm. He told her about how he beat Tony repeatedly to the head, how he crushed the arc reactor, and how he left Tony behind.  


Then he started crying, silently and full of regrets.  


She left him and got back to the Quinjet, she needed to make amends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tell me what you think and who should tony meet next chapter


	5. The leftovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some amends are made

Three hours later there were some ‘accidents’ involving all the houses that blew them up. Bodies were found inside. Two minutes after the news broadcasted it, Laura was there in the workshop. She was in tears, probably for the house. He was still working, so concentrated he didn’t even notice her until she touched his shoulder, making him jump. “S-sorry, didn’t mean to scare you” she said.  


“It’s ok, I was just-” he noticed her tears “hey, what happened? Did something happened? Is it for the house? Cause I can totally rebuild it, it’s what I do, I fix thi-” he was interrupted by her sudden hug.  


“T-thank you, thank you s-so, so much, I don’t know what would have happened to us, t-to my kids if you didn’t come, thank you” she kept thanking him and at one point even apologizing for hitting him until he sushed her and hugged her back making soothing circles on her back with his gloved hand. Following her example, the others came down to thank and apologize to him, even Hank, who thanked him through clenched teeth while Hope smirked.

* * *

He took the phone and called Rogers, they needed to know.  


“Tony? Is it you?”  


“Yeah it’s me Captain, I need to talk to Clint, Scott and Sam right now”.  


“What? Wait, I have to talk to you Tony, and for them isn’t a good moment, their families were-”  


“Blown up, I know, just gather them in one room and put me on, it’s important”  


“You know? Then why would you-”  


“Just put them on Captain!”  


“Ok, ok, just give me a moment”  


Five minutes later they were all reunited around a table in the common room. Clint was th first to speak his mind “I swear to God Stark, if this isn’t a world ending situation I’ll-”  


“They are safe” he interrupted what was probably going to be a long conversation on holes in wich arrows could fit.  


“If this is some kind of sick joke I-”  


“They’re all safe I swear” he interrupted another threatening rant “they’re all safe and sound, I got there in time, they are here at the compound, they’re fine I promise”  


“Even Sharon?” Steve asked  


“Even Sharon”  


“How are they?” Asked Sam.  


“They’re sad and a bit ragged, the kids are scared but I took them in, they are just fine, all of them, even the dog. He’s adorable by the way, I would send you pics but this phone is as old as you Rogers and-”  


“They’re okay?” Questioned Scott for reassurance, only after feeling able to breathe again.  


“Yes, they are okay, they’re all here, even Hank” a chocked sob and a watery laugh sounded on the end of the other line.  


“Tony, thanks man-” Sam couldn’t even finish his sentence before Tony stopped him.  


“it’s okay Sam, thanks, I mean welcome… whatever, you’ll hear from them soon enaugh” he ended the call.

* * *

Two days later found them all, the ‘leftovers’ as they started calling themselves, sans kids, in his workshop as he worked on his suit. They all looked around marveled, Hope and Hank included.

“So, I’ve been thinking, since we don’t know how long you’ll be here for, and the kids need to go to school, I took the liberty to find for you a couple of private secure schools not so far away. One of us, us being me Vision and Rhodey, will have to always accompany the children to and from school, for security reasons. And it would be simpler if you agreed on just one school for them all. Also, Ross will try to find any excuse to lure you out of here, and since this is an Avengers compound and none of you are or are imparented to any current Avenger, I’ll have to employ you.” He ignored their protest and went on. “Sharon could work as a bodyguard for me since Happy -that would be my driver/bodyguard- will be busy with Pepper. I know Melody, can I call you Melly? Is a doctor, so maybe she can be one here. You’ll see, the med-bay is a top notch. About Foster, Darcy, Pym and Van Dyne, the four of you could help me in the lab with a couple of things I’m working on. Laura you could be one of my lawyers since you were one before all the parenting thing. Paxton you could be a bodyguard for the families when they go out, and Mrs. Wilson you could be the babysitter for the kids. Any questions?”

He connected the last two wires and got up, turning towards them. That’s when they noticed the arm and leg, them being covered two nights earlier for the kids and the fact that he had been in the workshop since then, extremis made him way more resistent, made so that they didn’t know. Some gasps were heard. Some of them blanched. There were also some mouths agape. While Hank and Hope were white as sheets, they were also watching the arts with fascination and curiosity. “What happened to you?” Laura finally asked.  


“Elsa got angry” he answered looking as serious as ever. There were some confused glances “I didn’t want the kids to see and… just… okay… well… yeah, good talk, ah, I almost forgot, there is a phone on that table, you can use it to contact the guys, just please, don’t tell them about this.” He pleaded pointing to himself “so… yeah, if you need anything you’ll find me on my floor, see ya” and with that he stalked out of the room leaving them baffled and confused.  


After calling down the kids, one by one they used the phone, hearing their father/son/husband/ex-husband/boyfriend/brother/guy that used his suit and dated his daughter after five months of silence.

* * *

He left them the phone and went in his room. He was laying down on his bed sighing tiredly, closing his eyes and falling asleep. After an hour or so he woke up, something felt off, someone was there. In less then a second he got up and pinned the intruder to the wall, vibranium hand to the throat and flesh one on the wall. Natasha looked him in the eyes, unblinking, mask well in place. He stared at her for a moment, then shifted the silver hand on the other side of her head. “Why are you here?”  


“The Bartons, I had to check on them, for Clint”she responded  


“But why are you here, in my room?”  


“I had to check on you”  


“Why?” He didn’t understand  


“I haven’t heard from you in three months, I needed to know you were ok, and Laura called, she is worried about you” explained her  


“Why, she cares now?” she had a weird way of showing it if she did  


“Yeah, she does”  


“She punched me in the face” was his only reply  


“She thought you deserved it”  


“She pointed a gun at me!” He said indignantly  


“She was angry at Clint for leaving”  


“She could punch Clint when he comes back” he suggested rolling his eyes. The corner of her mouth shot up, then she turned serious again.  


“Why are you making him come back, aren’t you angry?”  


“I forgave him, them”  


“What happened to you?”  


Rogers did “Why do you care?”  


“Because I care” sure  


“You really don’t ”  


“how would you know what I care about”  


Cause you knew and didn’t tell me, was what he wanted to say “because you left”  


“I couldn’t stay”  


“Why”  


“They would have arrested me”  


“I meant the second time”  


“I couldn’t stand it”  


“You couldn’t stand what?” She hesitated  


“This” she placed her hand on his titanium arm “I couldn’t stand seeing what I did to you” her eyes gone softer.  


“You didn’t do it” he whispered looking away from her.  


“But I did, by letting them go I am as guilty as they are”  


“They didn’t do anything to me” he said getting away, letting her go.  


“Don’t lie, Steve told me what happened”  


He looked at her closely, she seemed guilty even if she hid it well. Once he wouldn’t have noticed, but extremis gave him new senses, and an extraordinary sight was one of them.“Why didn’t you tell me?”  


“I thought Steve did” she watched him with pleading eyes, hoping he would understand. He went further away from her.  


“Well, you were wrong”  


“I know and I’m sorry”  


He thought a moment, if she were to stay by his side he could use her for the pardons, and having another pair of hands on fixing the accords couldn’t hurt “Then stay, if I’m going to make them come back I need all the help I can get, and…” he sighed tiredly “I could use a friend” She looked at him, considering. “Please” he tried again. 

She nodded


	6. Old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some long lost friend comes back

He worked for eight straight days on the suit without sleep or food testing out extremis’ limits. Apparently he reached them because his stomach started grumbling and his eyelids were heavier, he felt like fainting. But the biggest problem was that he was out of coffee. He thought about going all the way to his flat on the last floor, but he needed to be quick to come back to work. He settled for going on the common floor. He made his way to the elevator “common floor Friday”  


“Sure Boss” the AI was more than happy to comply.  


He was working on a way to make the suit wearable so that it could always be with him. He started rethinking his possibilities, he needed something small, but not too small, like a clock but bigger, like… like… like the arc reac- a cought startled him out of his thoughts. He had arrived on the common floor and there was a crowd in the kitchen staring at him. Ah, he must have tuned them out. “So, what’s going on in here?” He asked. Looking at Melly, Joyce, Maggie, Foster and Lewis he felt slightly outnumbered. Luckily there was Vision on his side.  


“We are teaching Vision how to bake cookies” said Jane. He stepped out of the elevator.  


“Really? Well how’s my kid doing?” He wondered  


“Who?”  


“You got a kid?”  


“You know… red and mighty” at their perplexed looks -either for the nickname or for the unknown origin of the android- he elaborated “I created Vision” understanding downed on them.  


“Well you look like shit Mother Nature” Darcy said after a beat of silence.  


“Darcy!” Hissed Foster  


“Please, don’t hold back” he said sarcastically  


“To be fair, you do look a bit ragged Sir” Vision helpfully pointed out. Ok maybe he wasn’t on his side.  


“My own son” he said with false hurt.  


“Only stating the truth” replied the android with a slight smile on his lips. Definitely not on his side.  


“Did you just talk back to me? Unbelievable, under my own roof” he then pointed a finger at the android “you bring your father some respect young man” he put a hand to his heart “I thought we were years away from your teenage fase” he said dramatically. He heard a giggle and spun around finding Lila. “You havin’ fun with my pain, little agent?” She nodded easily. “Making fun of the elderly, today’s youth ladies and gentlemen” he sai looking affronted, she giggled some more.  


“You ‘bout done?” Asked Melly  


“Maybe”  


“Cause you look like you’re ‘bout to faint” she stated  


“I’m fine” he responded annoyed  


“When did you sleep last, honey?” Questioned Joyce.  


“Or eaten for that matter?”demanded more than asked Maggie  


“I’m okay” he insisted making a beeline for the coffee. Before anyone had the time to investigate any further the elevator doors opened revealing Bruce and Thor inside. “thanks for the heads up Friday” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Thor strode out of the elevator and approached him ignoring everyone else around him. He then took him by his throat and lifted him in the air. Wow, this really brought flashbacks down his door. Tony wasn’t concerned though, with extremis he could last minutes without oxygen.  


“Thor no!” Yelled Bruce still in the elevator. Tony brought up a hand to stop Vision and the others from intervening as the other one went to the hand to his throat trying to release the pressure a bit. He didn’t feel pain, only pressure. He could probably take Thor, but that wasn’t a brilliant idea if he intended to reassemble the team.  


“I heard of your doings from our comrades Stark, tell me, why should I let you live?”  


‘Lying time’ his mind happily supplied “ok, I know I screwed up, BUT… ” at this he pointed behind him “we have cookies” he said merrily. So, when that didn’t work out and the pressure increased he pointed to Lila, who was now in tears for the men she knew had saved her and her family “and a kid present so…” Thor let him go, not wanting to upset the child any further.  


Foster came into view as his coughing fit ended helping him upright and glared at the blonde, who seemed to have just noticed her “Thor! Are you crazy! You could have killed him! The man who saved me! What were you think-“ she was interrupted by Thor’s hug.  


“Jane! I thought you were dead!” Oh, ok, so they told him about the part where he was wrong but they couldn’t tell him about him saving their families? Nice. A buzzing sound was heard and Goldylocks went down on his knees and then hit face first the floor, showing Lewis with a taser in hand.  


“Not cool dude” she said to the now unconscious asgardian sounding unimpressed. Tony looked at her confused “What? Chill, it isn’t the first time, and you saved us while he was around doing Odin knows what so…”  


“Actually, Odin is dead” added Bruce, finally stepping out of the elevator. Bruce watched in horror as he finally noticed the missing limbs, the scars and the arc reactor.  


“Hey Brucie-bear, you ok? Lookin’ a bit green there” Tony asked concerned.  


“Am I ok? You are the one who just got strangled by a god!” He exclaimed  


“Not the first nor the last” he responded lightly. Bruce was still staring “ok, you know how everyone kept saying that Ironman and I weren’t one? Well, now there won’t be any more debate” the engeneer replied cheerfully to the questioning look he received from Banner.  


Bruce was left open mouthed as Lila broke from her haze and run to hug Tony. He was taken aback at first, but then regained control and finally picked her up and hugged her close to his chest. He started to talk trying to soothe the crying girl. Laura must have told her about the arts cause she didn’t seem scared at all of the metal arm. Vision took Thor in his arms and brought him somewhere else, he didn’t care where. There were voices talking, asking what did he mean by ‘not the first time’ and if he was okay, but he tuned them out by trying to complete the task at hand: make Lila feel better. Turns out, the reassurance he was okay and a couple of jokes were enaugh to calm her down and, after a minute more passed holding her, he let her go. She reluctantly let go of him only to grab his hand a second later. He spent the rest of the afternoon trying to bake cookies with the help of Vision and Melly for Lila since the ingredients were already out and then playing with her till they both fell asleep on the couch. 

That’s how Laura found them that evening, cuddled together fast asleep. She took a picture with the new Starkphone Tony gave her and smiled, they were going to be just fine there.


	7. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mantis shakes Tony’s hand

Turns out Thor an Bruce had brought a crowd with them. And Loki, but he was apparently a ‘good guy’ now according to Bruce. Tony offered to take in the asgardians to Bruce since Thor was still out cold. It might have not been the best idea to modify Darcy’s taser. The offer was gratefully accepted and he met most of them, but the most interesting guys were the ones that called themselves ‘the guardians’. 

There was an enormous-tattooed-shirtless one called Drax who couldn’t understand a joke, one called Nebula who glared a glare at him that could have stopped his heart if he still felt fear, there was a teenager tree who kept repeating his name, a talking raccoon who was eyeing adoringly his metal limbs, a green woman who frowned at his arc reactor, a human called star-lord, and a yellow woman called Mantis. 

She was looking at him with a confused expression on her face as he met them all, then whispered something to the green woman, who then eyed him suspiciously. The strangest thing wasn’t the reaction to the words, but the words themselves: “I can’t feel him”. They couldn’t imagine that thanks to extremis he had super hearing and probably believed him oblivious to the entire exange. 

Was she like Wanda? Could she feel his emotions just by standing near him, or better the lack of emotions? Could he be outed so easily? They were either possible enemies or allies, and he couldn’t screw up the only chance to have another hand in the war. He needed to think of something, and fast. Maybe he could tell them the truth, but how could he trust them? No, he had learned his lesson with the rogues, he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. But if he told the truth perhaps they would trust him and help with the incoming threat. However the yellow woman didn’t seem too sure, so maybe there was no point in telling anything until they confronted him. 

Then the yellow woman extended her hand in greeting and he shook it, but before he could introduce himself the reaction he got startled him: she started crying. * * * Mantis felt confused, this human wasn’t emanating any emotion, not even one. Had she lost her power? She asked herself panicking. Had her powers really let her down? For a few worrying seconds she was left in doubt. But then she felt her friends’ emotions and calmed down. 

It had to be the human then. She watched him closely, noticing the scarred eyebrow lip ear and nose, the glowing circle in his chest that could be seen through his black shirt, the metal limbs that reminded her of Nebula, and thought of what could have caused all that trauma, that maybe that was the motive she couldn’t feel his emotions, maybe he was trying to ignore them himself. 

Maybe touching him was the only way to feel his emotions. She thought of an excuse to do so and remembered how the other human, the one called Bruce, greeted them. She extended her hand, palm open, ready to feel the usual cocktail of emotions all heroes seemed to have in common: self-hatred, fear, sadness and guilt, but as he took her hand in his, nothing came. 

A shiver ran down her spine. 

She grabbed his hand with her other one, hoping to feel something, anything. 

Nothing. 

She felt lost, it was all so dark and… void, the quiet was endless, he was so empty it was overwhelming, cold and deep. She staggered, it couldn’t be! How was he even alive? There was always something, some echo of emotion, some spark, something. Something alive, even in the most controlled, ruthless being, even in Nebula, even in Thanos. But there was nothing there, not sadness, not love, not even hatred. 

She tried to reach further in the nothingness, searching for any indication that he was alive other than the pulse she could feel under her fingerprints. Darkness and silence surrounded her, making her scared, and she went deeper, trying to escape all the emptiness. 

She couldn’t breathe! She found nothing and that’s all there was. How did he get so broken it wasn’t worth repair? How did he become so lonely love wasn’t enough to fight the self-hate? How did he still walk and talk and breathe when there was nothing to live for? No emotion worth feeling? How could he have been so broken to give up love and happiness? 

She felt a hand swipe away tears she didn’t know she had poured and opened her eyes to see Stark caressing her face, a concerned expression on him. She started sobbing at the profound sadness he had to be in to close off to the world. He wrapped his arms around her trying to soothe her. She kept crying until the darkness finally left her replaced by profound concern, and looking up she saw Peter hugging her. She kept crying as another type of darkness welcomed her. * * * Natasha watched as the aliens introduced themselves as the ‘guardians of the galaxy’, the human one obviously expecting some kind of knowledge of their heroics from Tony, who actually had no idea of who they were, and when he said so she could see the disappointment in Starlord’s face, the smile the green woman was trying to hide as well as hearing the raccoon’s “I told you so” directed at the tree, wich made the gigantic one laugh rather loudly followed by the yellow one. The two of them then started to mock Starlord who was now trying to convince Tony that they were some kind of heroes. 

Stark took it all in with an amused smile on his face. 

That was until the yellow woman, Mantis she remembered, touched him. Then silence fell, the guardians obviously expecting some kind of reaction for some reason she couldn’t identify, and when it came to everyone’s surprise it was crying. 

Tony then proceeded to try and soothe her but the more he touched her the more desperately she cried. Starlord then took the lead and took her from his arms, concern clear on his face, but weirdly it seemed to be directed more at Stark than Mantis. 

Once mantis fell asleep in his arms he then passed her to the muscolar one who was then directed by a very confused Tony to one of the guest rooms.


	8. Emotions are a tricky thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a talk with Nebula

“What the hell just happened?” Tony asked once mantis was safely tucked in her bed. The Guardiands looked at him funny, maybe it was pity. “she’s an empath right?” “Why would she react the way she did?” “Is she okay?” He fired the questions so fast he didn’t leave any space for answers. Just before the green woman was going to answer he interrupted her “you know what? Who cares, I’m too tired for this shit” his vision was starting to blur, he couldn’t collapse in front of the new aliens, so he sprung away towards the common room, which was thankfully empty. He made it to the sofa before collapsing on it. He had half an idea to go to his own room but he was too tired for that.

Man was he tired, sure he got in a few hours with Lila, but three hours can’t compete with eight straight days. He closed his eyes. 

Why would she react the way she did? If she’s an empath than why cry? He didn’t feel a thing so shouldn’t she be unfazed by him? Unless she cried because he didn’t feel a thing. Maybe it had never happened before, maybe she was scared? Maybe she wasn’t, maybe she was horrified by what he had done to himself. God what had he done to himself? Was it so horrible it was worth crying over? Had he messed up again? No, no he hadn’t done anything wrong, had he been able to feel all the pain he had he would have… yeah, he would have… 

He didn’t let himself finish that thought, letting himself be taken by sleep.

* * *

Something nudged his shoulder. His eyes flew open to ready confront whoever woke him, finding himself face to blue face with an alien… a blue alien… called… Nebula? “Nebula right?” He asked, confused to why would she wake him. He found his voice hoarse. Weird. 

She nodded “why are you crying?”

“I’m not” he responded in a no nonsense voice.

She reached for his face, making him flinch, hard. She tilted her head, understanding clear in her face. Then she reached again, slower this time, deliberately showing him every move she made. She gently touched his cheek, then retracted it looking at the moisture there curiously. He looked at her hand, then reached for his cheek with his flesh hand. He found it wet. He looked confused at the tear on his index finger not understanding how could it be possible for him to cry when he felt perfectly fine. Actually, he felt perfectly nothing. Nebula noticed his furrowed brow. “You don’t understand them either” at his questioning brow she specified “your emotions, you don’t seem to understand them” he remained silent, watching her with a confused expression.

“Either?” He then tried to divert the attention from himself.

She hesitated for a second watching him closely. “Thanos taught me how not to feel emotions other than hatred for his enemies and love for him, but lately… I found myself to be confused by new emotions, wich I don’t understand since I shouldn’t have any”she explained watching his reaction from confused to understanding.

He had a couple of questions for her and choose one happy that the attention wasn’t on his crying anymore “who’s Thanos?” 

“It’s my turn” she said, confusing him furthermore.

“To…” he trailed off.

“Ask questions” she took his “ah” as permission to ask said question “why were you screaming and crying?”

“I don’t know” so, maybe the her attention was still on the crying, and screaming apparently. “Is that why you woke me?”

“Yes, why don’t you understand your emotions?”

“It’s not that I don’t understand them, its that they shouldn’t be there, I made a deal with someone” he remembered his first question “who’s Thanos?”

“The Mad Tintan, what kind of deal?”

“A deal not to feel pain anymore, she went all the way and took away all the emotions though.” He explained

“Who’s she?” 

“It’s my turn” he reminded her “I meant who’s Thanos to you?”

“My adoptive father, who’s she?”

“Death” he responded easily. She looked startled for a second before schooling her expression. “What kind of emotions?”

“What?”

“It’s my turn” he half heartedly scolded her “my my, you suck at this game” he joked, she glared at him “ok, what kind of emotions are you feeling lately?”

“I seem to feel a… fondness, for my… for the other people I travel with” she explained “you took away your own emotions?”

“Yes” he paused, confusion on his features once again “why would your father want to remove your emotions?”

“Efficiency” she answered “why did you remove your own?”

“Efficiency” he replied. It was truth, in the end he had to take them away to be able to continue living to reunite the team and save the world. Still she watched him curiously “I have to save the world from an incoming threat, emotions were in the way” He looked at her closely, in search of any pity, or any sign to see if she was horrified by his choice. But all he found at his answer was respect. Why would she respect him? “Why do you respect me?”

She schooled her features before answering “Not many people would have the courage to remove their own emotions, even if it was to save their species, renouncing to love is a price not all are ready to pay. You put the rest of humanity in front of your capacity to do so, I respect that.” She paused “I would have taken mine away if I could have” she whispered as an afterthought.

Right, he renounced love, he had never let himself think about that particular consequence. “can you promise me something?” He asked suddenly 

“Depends” she said confused.

“Don’t” she looked at him quizzically “let go of your emotions, they are too important to just give them up” he continued “nothing is ever worth giving up on love, to give up on love is to give up on life, and you seem to love your friends so just… just don’t” he pleaded 

She looked at him curiously for a couple of seconds “alright, I promise ”

He looked relieved. He shifted so that his feet were on the ground. He patted the place beside him and she sat down.

“What kind of threat?”

“One that threatens all creation” he said recalling Death’s words “know nothing bout it?”

“I think I know what you’re talking about” she looked at him seriously “Thanos, he wants to end half of life of the universe” 

“Well shit” was all he could say after a beat of silence.

“If you can’t feel any emotion, why were you crying?”

“That’s the question” he replied “I think I may be able to have them, I’m just not able to feel them anymore” at her confused expression he explained “if a knife hits me, it would still hit the nerves and tear my skin, I just wouldn’t feel it”

“So you think that should you have an emotion… your body would express it, but your brain wouldn’t register it?” She asked forgetting about the turns again

“Yeah, same with the knife, my body would still bleed even if I wouldn’t feel a thing” he thought about it a moment “is she ok? Mantis?”

“She is fine”

“Could she help me? Maybe she could confirm our theory” he asked hopeful

“Maybe she already did” she said “maybe that’s why she cried” she elaborated 

“Could you ask her? Please?”

“Alright, I will” she got up to leave then turned around and narrowed her eyes “should you tell the Guardians about how I feel towards them I will-”

“Kill me, I know” he interrupted

“No, I’ll make you suffer” she corrected him. Then she left him alone. At least she thought she was, but he could pick up another heartbeat.


	9. Little monkey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a little talk with the intruder

“Come out, come out, wherever you are” he chanted turning his head towards the intruder 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop” Lila looked apologetic 

“Not angry kiddo, why are you up so…” he looked at his watch “early?”

She came closer to the couch “had a nightmare” she looked down at her feet as if embarrassed

He noticed that her eyes were red “hey, wanna know one of my deeper darker secrets?” He asked with the most serious expression he could muster as she sat on the couch next to him. She looked at him curiously. “I have nightmares too” he whispered 

Her eyes got a little wider “really?”

“Really” he then added “you know what makes me feel better when I have one?” She looked up with a hopeful expression “I talk bout it” he said softly.“So, wanna talk bout it?” She nodded but didn’t say anything. So he took the lead “was it bout the aliens?” She shook her head, so he tried again “was it bout your dad?” She looked down and nodded so he continued “was it bout your dad leaving?” He asked carefully. She nodded again and her eyes watered. He never was good with people crying, so when a little sob escaped her he did what he remembered his mother doing after a session of what Howard called ‘growing a backbone’. He spread his arms invitingly “com’ here” she climbed his lap eagerly wrapping her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest obviously seeking comfort. He hugged her back with the silver arm while his flesh hand went to stroke her hair. 

“He didn’t even say goodbye” she sobbed out

“What?”

“He didn’t say goodbye” she repeated “he always says goodbye, in case he doesn’t come back” she looked him in the eyes “why didn’t he say goodbye?”

He thought about it for a moment “Because he knew he would have come back this time, he was so sure of it, he didn’t even think about saying goodbye. And you know, sometimes, heroes have to brake the law to save the world so he can’t come back right away, but- listen to me, he will come back, I’m making sure of it” he explained “do you trust me?” She hesitated only an instant before nodding “Then trust me when I say I’ll bring him back to you” she nuzzled back in his chest and he stared stroking her hair again. They stayed like that for about half an hour until her sobbing stopped. “Do you wanna know my super iper secret way to get the nightmares to go away?” He whispered conspiratorially waggling his eyebrows once she was looking at him. She gave a watery laugh and nodded. He leaned and whispered in her ear even more quietly than before “Hot cocoa” she giggled smiling some more. He got up holding her in his arms and made his way to the kitchen. Once there he put her on the counter and started making a cup of hot cocoa for her. Once done he took the whipped cream, showing it to her in a silent question. She nodded and her smile grew wider as he put it on the cocoa. He kept adding more every time he catched her eyes, making her giggle. So in the end there was a tower of whipped cream on the cup. Maybe giving the kid so much sugar wasn’t one of his brightest ideas.

“What’s going on here?” A voice startled them from behind him

Startled, he bent and took the whole tower in one bite then put himself in the most casual position he could think of and smiled wide saying with a full mouth “noting!” just as Laura turned the corner.

* * *

When F.R.I.D.A.Y told her Lila was with Tony a wave of relief washed over her. Maybe it was worrisome that she had come to trust the man so much after so little time, but she wasn’t going to think about it too much. She needed to trust someone other than Natasha. 

What she wasn’t expecting was to see Tony Stark leaning over the counter with an elbow on it facing her with an obviously fake innocent smile on his face that rested on his fist and his other hand on his hip yelling “nothing!” with his mouth full of… something, and her daughter doubled over in laughter. She narrowed her eyes looking at him suspiciously. Noting the whipped cream and the cup of what smelled like hot chocolate on the counter and the obviously fake innocence in the man’s eyes, she imagined the probable scenario of what happened there. A smile spread trough her face without asking her permission and she had to choke down a laugh of happiness seeing her daughter so happy. Her father leaving has been so hard on Lila that she rarely even smiled nowadays, but still, Tony made her laugh. When she finally remembered about the other adult in the room she schooled her features and Tony, seeing her steely expression, loudly swallowed the whipped cream at once and coughed a little. She looked at him for a couple of moments making him uneasy. Then she turned to her daughter 

“It was Tony!” Her daughter shrieked under her scrutinizing gaze

Tony gasped and made a betrayed expression, bringing a hand to his forhead feigning to be hurt “you, I thought we were friends” he said dramatically making Lila smile which made Laura smile as well. “Well, then I guess I’ll just take the hot chocolate I made and go lick my wounds”

“Nooooo, wait” Lila jumped off the counter and attached herself to one of his legs. He didn’t even slow down dragging her with him. Lila was laughing madly, yelling “stop!” as he dragged her around. Laura looked at them with amusement written on her face. Lila looked like a little monkey. She had to catch up when he started leaving the room, she was going to put an end to it when she realized that he was going towards their apartment. Once there he stopped, bent down taking Lila with one arm while the other was still holding the hot cocoa and waited for Laura to open the door. Inside there was chaos, the floor was littered with toys and the couch too. Nathaniel was crying in the other room and Cooper was watching tv at a loud volume.

* * *

“Cooper!” Laura yelled exasperated. He looked up from the tv but didn’t turn it off. “I told you to watch Nathaniel while I was away” she said turning the tv off.

“Whatever” he replied like every respectable teenager and stormed away.

Laura sighed “I’m sorry for him, he’s very angry since Clint went away” Laura apologized looking sad.

“It’s okay, no problem” he said, then turning to Lila “you, little monkey, should be in bed” he said softly, putting her down and giving her the cup. She thanked him lingering a moment before giving him a quick hug spilling some of the cocoa and running off to her room. He looked at Laura and saw the exhaustion in her eyes, she probably nearly had a heart attack when she didn’t find Lila in her room. “Don’t worry I’ll take care of this” he said pointing to the spot of chocolate on the parquet “you can go and take care of Nathaniel”

She thanked him smiling tiredly and went to Nathaniel.

He cleaned the spot and, not knowing what to do, started taking the toys and putting them in a basket he found. To kill time he started building… something with the legos. He had no idea what that was. In the other room the cries started to lessen and then came to a stop. Laura emerged from the room giving him a tight smile. Then her smile became amused at seeing the lego-thingy.

“Thanks for Lila and for cleaning the chocolate… and the rest of the room apparently. And sorry for all the mess” Laura said looking at him apologetically.

“It’s ok I’m used to it” when she looked at him quizzically he explained “Dum-E always makes a mess, usually with Butterfingrs, and You isn’t usually much help, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. encourages them so… not much help there either” she smiled at the fondness in his tone.

“Well thanks again, and I’m sorry for Cooper, he’s just… so full of anger you know?” she said tiredly.

He thought for a moment “you know maybe I could help with that” at her furrowed brow he elaborated “I could spar with him, teach him self defensense and he could blow off some steam” he proposed 

“Wow thanks, okay, I’ll ask him about it” she agreed gratefully.

“Right, well… ‘night” he ushered himself.

“You’re good with kids” a voice startled him, making him jump.

“For the love of-! kid! What the hell are you doing lurking in the shadows like that?! Had a heart condition here!” Could anyone else pop up from nowhere today?

“Had is the key word” she replied 

“What do you want?” He asked

“You’re good with kids” she repeated 

“Whatever” he tried to wave her away. It didn’t work, so he started towards the common room once again “you should know anyway, you’re the one who got me as a babysitter half the time” he kept walking away from Sharon

“I heard what you said to Nebula about your emotions” he froze.

“So what?” He asked, and when searching her face for something, he only found concern “Now you’re worried about me? After the whole clusterfuck is over? After you betrayed me, basically your cousin, to help Captain Asshole? After I lost two limbs? After Rhodey… Rhodey fell?”

“I never wanted this”

“and still it happened” he started walking again 

“What happend in Siberia?”

“You already know what happened, I told the Council and the Council told the world”

“oh yeah, the: ‘five super soldiers almost beat me to death and then I shooed the only way out of the freezing bunker because I had to arrest them otherwise’ story. You forget I know you, really know you. And for you to give up… just tell me what happened”

“I didn’t give up… I… I didn’t do anything wrong ok?!” He stopped again.

“Of course you did! To give up pain as you did it’s to have no limits, no boundaries. I just wonder how long it’s gonna take for you to forget those limits and get seriously hurt. So yes, I am worried! And you gave up love! You gave up loving the bots and F.R.I.D.A.Y. and Pepper and Rhodey and Harley and me and- and that Spider-boy you keep talking about! So you better have a damn good reason for giving up on us!”

He took a deep breath “He killed my mum” he said taking her by surprise.

“What?” She didn’t understand 

“He killed my mum, Barnes killed my mum” 

She was speechless for a couple of seconds, then a realization hit her “Steve knew?” She asked hoping to be wrong

“Steve knew” he confirmed 

“For how long?”

“Two years probably” he theorized. He could see how shocked she was. She probably couldn’t believe her ears. Captain America lying? Now that was a good joke. The next thing she did surprised him though: she hugged him. He laughed. “You know, just last year he was scolding me for keeping Ultron a secret, ‘sometimes my teammates don’t tell me things’ he said, and still he was keeping the truth about my parents from me” he laughed again, it was raw and unfriendly. She just hugged him harder and he found himself hugging her back.

After a while she broke the silence “you know it’s been a while, since we hugged I mean” not braking the embrace.

“I never was the hugging tipe” 

“No shit Sherlock” this time when he laughed there was mirth in his eyes. “I miss her you know?”

“Aunt Peggy? Yeah… me too” his stomach ruined the moment by grumbling. Then she was laughing too. “How long it’s been since you last ate? Your breath smells” She asked laughingly.

“…”

“Tony…” she warned

“Eight…” he looked at his watch “I mean, nine, days?” He asked more than said

“Tony!” She reprimanded him half heartedly. “Come on, we are eating” she grabbed him by the sleeve and started pulling. He didn’t budge.

“But, woooork” he whined

“Now” 

In the end she bullied him into eating something. And, quite annoyingly, kept bullying him everyday, with Laura’s help, into eating and sleeping at appropriate hours. They even took advantage of Peter’s puppy dog eyes since Harley was out of town. And he was proud to say he resisted. For about two minutes, then he had to say yes to Pete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question: would you prefer Tony/Nebula or Tony/Natasha ?


	10. A little revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley and peter have some fun, and cooper gets to tell a secret. Also Jessica jones

He was working on a new body vest for Wanda when he was interrupted “Boss… I think you need to see this” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said with a hint of amusement in her voice

“What is it Fry?” He asked proud of the emotion in her voice

“it seems that Harley and mister Parker have met Goldy Locks and company and have taken a little revenge of their own”

The video showed Pete and Harley talking about the explosiveness (both metaphorical and, sadly, literal) of the latest science experiment they convinced Tony on doing when their way got blocked by Thor, Loki and the guardians. It was hilarious watching Peter trying to introduce himself to the aliens.

“Hi, I’m Peter-Man… I-I mean, I’m Spider-Man” he became red as he muttered “damn”

His face became even redder as Harley whispered in his ear “nailed it!” Laughter bubbling out of him and the guardians

“Ah young men, I was searching for Stark, have you seen him?” Thor smiled pleasantly obviously expecting some kind of recognition.

Harley smiled wickedly as Peter’s face became somber “Sorry, who are you, exactly?” Harley asked with indifference plastered on his features. To anyone else he would have seemed just curios but Tony knew better. He could see the rage boiling under his skin. 

Thor seemed confused for a moment, probably by the fact that someone could not recognize him “I’m Thor, son of Odin, and who would you two be?”

Harley got a mischievous glint in his eyes, to which Thor seemed completely oblivious to unlike Loki who smiled knowingly “well, I’m Harley, son of Tony” Tony almost fell out of his chair. But Harley didn’t seem to be finished because he nudged Peter

He apparently got the hint cause he continued the presentations “and I’m Peter, also son of Tony” this time he really did fall out of the chair. Meanwhile Thor’s jaw had gone slack

Peter continued on their little vengeance as he said “so, you must be the guy who choked our father” feigning nonchalance

Thor stammered as Harley continued “you were going to make us orphans just because you listened to only one side of the story? What kind of hero are you?” Disgust clear in his face

Thor was getting whiter and whiter as Pete continued “you know… you were my favorite Avenger when I grew up, I always thought you were just and fair… guess… guess I was wrong” he said with fake tears in his eyes

“Whatever… lets get out of here bro” Harley said putting an arm round Peter’ shoulders and walking away. Cut to twenty seconds later they were laughing their asses off as Thor was panicking in the other room.

“fuck” Tony cursed wiping tears as he struggled to hold his laughter while on the floor. “Put this video in the ‘on the fridge’ protocol Fry”

“Already done Boss” she replied, amusement in her voice.

Then he got serious again “I love ‘em so damn much F.R.I.D.A.Y.” He blurted out. He didn’t actually feel anything but as he said it it felt so right he thought that’s what he must have been feeling under all those layers of indifference.

* * *

He had known about ‘The Defenders’ for a while, and he came to the conclusion that he needed them on the team. He couldn’t ask them as the accords were before because it would have been not only a certain no from them but also unfair to ask that of them. But now that the accords were being amended and that he finally had a first draft he could present to them, he was gonna ask them to join the team. He wasn’t as confident as he looked when he walked in Jessica Jones’ office though. He saw the spark of recognition in her eyes and readied himself for either the fan or hater reaction but neither came. She just let him in and gave one curios look at the scars on his face before moving on. She didn’t stare at least. He had heard she was difficult but from the moment she had opened her mouth she had been impossible. Still, it had been a while since he had a good battle of snarks. And she was certainly prepared. At the end of the meeting he had gotten a dubious no and she accepted four copies of the new accords. He counted that as a victory as would anyone who had met the woman. 

Once he came back to the compound he had a training with Cooper. It was their fifth and Laura was right, the kid did hold a lot of anger inside him, but he was beginning to let it all out during their trainings and cutting his mother some slack. Tony didn’t have a lot of time but he was glad that the little time he spent with Cooper helped the boy and his mother. 

However a lot of the anger from the kid seemed to be directed at him in particular. Cooper certainly didn’t hold his blows, which didn’t really matter since he didn’t feel a thing, but the kid didn’t know that. 

That day wasn’t particularly different but there was something akin to rage in the teenager’s eyes ever since Lila called Tony ‘uncle Tony’. Had he had any emotions at all his heart would have stopped the second she said it, but he hadn’t so it didn’t. So he let the thirteen year old get a couple of blows in, trying to let him express his anger and maybe calming him down but the more time passed the angrier he got. And then he started murmuring things between punches. Things like: “he’s… a… better man than… you… could ever… be”. His fists got faster and stronger as his murmurs became screams as he blindly hit in a fit of anger.

Tony wrapped his arms around the kid trying to stop him from hurting himself.

“Let me go!” Angry tears were streaming down his cheeks as he tried to wriggle his way out of Tony’s arms but there was no way he was letting the kid go like that.

“Hey it’s okay, it’s okay” he tried to soothe him.

“you’ll never replace him!” Cooper cried out kicking and screaming.

“And I don’t want to! He’s your dad, he’s irreplaceable okay?” Now the boy was full out crying 

“I miss him so much” he cried letting himself melt in the embrace and returning it. They fell to their knees. “Do you think he left because of me?”He sobbed out clinging to him like a lifeline. 

“What? No of course not! Why would you say that?” He was sooo confused.

“Maybe he knew something about me… something he didn’t like” what something?

“What do you mean? What something?” Tony tried to look into his eyes but couldn’t 

“I don’t… like… the girls at my school” he waited for a reaction that never came 

“Okay” he responded dragging out the word

“I mean… not at any school…”

“Ok so what?”

“I don’t like girls!” He yelled out getting frustrated

“And what’s the problem with that?” He he asked right back

“I don’t know! I thought that maybe dad found out and… and-”

“Oh no, kiddo, no. No, your father didn’t go away because of that” he said trying desperately to make him understand “and hey, there’s nothing wrong with that, there’s nothing wrong with you” he gently grabbed the boy by his shoulders forcing him to look into his eyes “listen to me carefully: I know your dad, and you know your dad, and he wouldn’t be angry or… or… disappointed… or… whatever you thought he would be. He loves you and that wouldn’t have changed, never, no matter what. Ok?” He waited for an answer “ok?” He tried again 

“Ok” came the chocked answer

He brought Cooper in for a hug and held to him for a while. But after almost fifteen minutes it became kinda awkward after they disentangled from their hug and got up. Neither knew what to say. Tony cleared his throat “Ok, kiddo, we gotta go shower before dinner or your mother’s gonna have my head, and I like it, it’s pretty handsome so… come on, little agent, chop chop, we gotta go” he offered his hand jokingly and Cooper slapped it away playfully.

Once on his floor he went to the shower but stopped dead on his tracks as he saw a package on his table. Technically there was no way a package was sent directly to him and not to his shining new bodyguard Sharon, so it either ment that the deliverer had crazy skills to avoid being caught by F.R.I.D.A.Y. or that F.R.I.D.A.Y. liked him/her. He opted on the latter. There was a card that said: ‘You suck less than I thought you would’. He smiled, he knew who the package came from. When he opened the pack he found four copies of the accords… signed.


	11. Quoting CP and The Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title says. Plus playing the piano

He needed someone to help Wanda with her powers. He should find a sorcerer, or a wizard, an enchanter, a trickster. Maybe Loki could help. No, he wouldn’t do it. He would certainly refuse. Maybe Strange? Yeah, he should call him. Definitely. 

“Here you go mister Stark-” Peter started

“Tony”

“-a nice, hot cup of coffee” he continued with a smile

“It’s cold” he pointed out

“Nice cup of coffee”

He took a seep “It tastes terrible”

“Cup of coffee”

He laughed inwardly “I’m not sure if this is even coffee”

“Cup”

He struggled to hold a smile as Harley snickered

“Boss, mister Laufeyson is trying to come inside the workshop”

He thought about it a moment “Let him in Fry” he got up, Harley and Pete at his side in an instant, putting themselves in front of him protectively. He smiled at their protectiveness but took a step past them putting himself between Loki and them. They moved to surpass him again but he put his hands on their shoulders effectively stopping them in their tracks.

Loki smiled at the sceen before him “You raised two great sons, Stark” amusement clear in his voice 

Right, he almost forgot about that.

“Actually he’s not-” but Peter got interrupted by Tony’s arm clapping around his and Harley’s shoulders.

“Well thank you, Loki. They’re the best kids I could ask for” he replied proudly. It was obvious by the amusement in the God’s eyes that he didn’t buy it.

“Ohmygod” both Peter and Harley whispered excitedly looking at each other behind Tony’s back.

“So… no offense, but… aren’t you supposed to be… you know… dead?” Tony asked

“Heroes don’t die” was the sarcastic reply 

“Aren’t you the guy who destroyed half New York? And shouldn’t heroes save people?” Asked Harley

“God not guy” he corrected “and I did save a life. My own. Am I a hero? I really can’t say, but yes”

Pete chuckled at this but Tony kept his face emotionless, curios to know why would the God be so friendly with them. He noticed Harley narrowed is eyes. He couldn’t figure out if Peter was too trusting or if it was Harley who was too distrustful. Maybe both. “So what do you want from me?”

“why do you think I want something from you?”Loki asked curios

“Everyone does” Gosh, he was having a flashback.

“I don’t” Peter piped up

Tony smiled but otherwise ignored the interruption “so, what is it?”

“I have some questions”

“Bout what?”

“About my role as an Avenger”

He narrowed his eyes “Who told you bout that?”

“You did just now” ok, probably Thor

“Ok, what do you wanna know?”

“Will I have to sign the piece of paper that destroyed your marry band?”

“It wasn’t the Accords that separated temporarily the Avengers, but yes, you’ll have to sign them. And you’ll also need a pardon for your crimes” at his concerned face he continued “don’t worry, I’m already working on it”

“Why go through all this trouble to help me?” Loki inquired

“I have my reasons” and they could use his help against Thanos.

Loki nodded as if he heard his thoughts.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Yes, I wish to go through the Accords with you”

“Sure” the he looked at the kids “children, you get free access to the suit for today, have fun, don’t make anything explode, I’ll be in my study with mister Laufeyson if you need anything”

They looked excitedly at each other. “Hey, we’re not children, we are fifteen!” Harley remembered to yell out before running to the Iron Man suit with Peter.

* * *

Natasha was training when she was stopped by Rhodey’s voice

“you know, I have no idea why Tony forgives people so easily”

Natasha looked at him quizzically 

“But him forgiving you doesn’t mean I do too” 

“Okay” she replied, indifferent mask well in place

“I have nothing against you, it’s just… I just wanna keep Tony safe. And you… well you betrayed him”

She didn’t flinch, seriously she didn’t.

“Actually, I have something against you. You hurt my friend. And it’s already hard to protect him from other people, but it’s even harder to protect him from himself” he said seriously “like when he forgave you” he sighed and looked away “like when he forgave the others” he looked her in the eyes “I need to know you won’t betray him again”

“I wouldn’t” she responded without hesitation. It was clear he didn’t believe her “I don’t think I could” he furrowed his brow “after I saw what happened to the Bartons and Langs and to you... to Tony. I just couldn’t do it again”

He nodded “okay then” he started walking away “just sayin’, I totally don’t believe you, cause you’re a spy, you could easily be lying to me, so: if you hurt him in any way or form, you don’t wanna know what I’m capable of. Got it?”

She knew perfectly well she could take him down at any moment, but she found that if she ever betrayed Tony again, she wouldn’t mind paying the consequences. So she nodded.

* * *

“Hey kiddo, whatcha doing?” He asked as he watched Cassie press keys at random

“Playing the piano… I think” she said looking to an old looking sheet. He recognized it as one of his mother’s 

“It’s upside down” he said amused 

“You know how to read it mister Iron Man?” she asked curiously 

“Sure, actually… I think I remember it even without reading it.” She looked at him awed “Also, it’s Tony to you” It was one of his mother’s favorite pieces, a transcription of summertime from Gershwin. He didn’t recognize it by the title because there wasn’t one written down, but he remembered clearly every note of the piece. Even upside down. It had been almost thirty years since he played the piano, but now that he hadn’t any feelings, he could finally play without feeling like every breath was a struggle. It was probably good for him to open himself up to someone, be it a therapist or a child. So he decided to talk to her, open up a bit, and maybe she would tell him what she seemed to be preoccupied about. He sat beside her “My mum taught me how to play, it was one of her favorites. I played it at her funeral… it was... it was the last time I played”

“I’m sorry” she said

“Don’t be, it’s okay now, I got over it” he lied smoothly. He hesitated a moment before asking his next question “you wanna me to show you how to play this?”

“Yeah!” Cassie said happily “Please?” She said as an afterthought 

“Okay… then…” he lifted her up and sat her on his lap “put your hands over mine and I’ll play, okay?” She nodded.

He started playing the piano slowly then fastening the tempo. It was not only one of his mother’s favorites but one of his too. It was nice, playing after so long, even if it brought back memories. He remembered when he and his mother used to do the same thing and his eyes burned with tears he wouldn’t let out. Tony felt like there was something just... right about doing that. He always felt afraid of moving on because he thought that would mean to forget his mother. But it didn’t. It was good. It probably would feel good too. If, you know, he felt anything at all.

He kept the time by bouncing his knees which made Cassie laugh as she bounced up and down. He suddenly remembered the words. He started singing along and Cassie looked at him awed. His voice was warm and calming as he sang. She rested her head on his chest, hands on on his, but she wasn’t interested in playing anymore so looked up at him with a little satisfied smile. After a while he noticed her and sang watching her in the eye. She seemed to be astonished that he could keep playing even without looking, so he closed his eyes just to impress her. He heard a gasp and a giggle. Once it ended they sat there in a companionable silence. She was starting to doze off, her eyes heavy with sleep. “Do you think it’ll go away?” She asked suddenly, but still sleepily.

“What?” He asked confused

“The feeling we got left behind” she answered tiredly. “Me, and Cooper and Lila, and little Nathaniel. And our mums and daddy’s girlfriend”

“With time… I think it will” she seemed upset “but you wanna know what will definitely make it go away?” She looked up at him, finally opening her eyes, curiosity written all over her “your dad coming back” 

At this she got a sparkle in her eyes, definitely awake now “he’s coming back?”

“He is” he replied 

“Do you pinky promise?”She asked

“Sure, I pinky promise” he declared as he interwove his pinky with hers

She smiled at him as if he had hung the moon


	12. Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: blood and gore

“Tony, Tony please don’t do this….”

“Stop it, you’re makin this harder than it has to be-”

“I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?”

“I’m so sorry, Nat” Tony said as he placed a +4 card on the table “uno”

“I hate you” she pouted

“No you don’t”

“Yes I do” she said giving him the ‘contradict me and I’ll slit your throat’ look

“Yes you do” he agreed. He and Natasha weren’t good at feelings or talking, or talking about feelings for that matter, so they just went back to their old ways, ignoring the whole ‘Civil War’ fiasco as the public had taken to calling it. They weren’t fine, but they were going to be. Probably.

Peter gasped as a thought made its way in his head

“What? What is it?” Tony asked preoccupied 

“What if soy milk… is just milk… introducing itself in Spanish?”

Everyone just looked at him raising an eyebrow “… what the heck?” Asked Harley

“Swear jar” said Tony pointing behind him to the jar they made when Lila, Cooper, Cassie and Nathaniel moved in.

“What? Heck isn’t a swear word”

“Yes it is, it’s the combination between fuck and hell so it’s a double swear word. Ergo double money in the swear jar” Tony explained smiling mischievously 

“Wait, you just said two bad words, so you gotta fill the jar too” Peter said

“It doesn’t count, I was makin a point” Tony protested

“Yes it counts” Natasha agreed with Pete 

“No, it does not” Tony insisted 

“Yes it does”

“Does not”

“Does too”

“Oh, how I hate it when mum and dad fight” Harley said making Peter snicker 

“We aren’t fighting, we’re merely disagreeing” replied Tony keeping his eyes on Natasha. Harley raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest, then got up and put one dollar in the jar “double swear, double pay young man” Tony said still looking at Natasha.

“How did you even… Fry! I thought we were friends!”

“Sorry Harley, but know that I have only yours and Peter’s best interest at heart, seeing that those are your college money” she said with a smile in her voice

“Oh com’on!”

“Harley” Tony said faking a stern voice

He grunted but put another dollar in the jar

“Come on Tones, even Harley did it, and we are three against one” she proved her point by looking at the boys who nodded.

He waited another minute just for the hell of it before rolling his eyes ad getting up. He put the money in the jar and went back to his seat

“Wait, did you just… put two one hundred bills in there?” Asked Harley 

“I said two bad words so…”

“But… it’s two hundred dollars!” Replied Peter 

“Glad you can do basic math Pete” Tony said maintaining a straight face

“But-” 

“He’s just teasing you boys” Natasha interrupted Harley with a smirk on her face

“But. It’s. Two. Hundred. Dollars” Peter repeated

“Billionaire, remember?” Tony asked amused “are you complaining? Cause those money are gonna go to you one day, but if you don’t want them…”

“No! We are not complaining, right Peter?” Asked Harley unamused

“No, I guess? It’s just that I think you should spend your money with more responsibility mister Stark-”

“Tony”

“and not waist them on me”

“I oppose myself from that statement, waist all the money you want on me, seriously, there’s no problem. Like, at all” Harley said after a beat of silence trying to light the mood after Peter’s comment

“Well, I guess you’ll do whatever you want with my money once it’s yours” Tony said casually

“What?” Asked Peter 

“What?” And Harley 

“What?” And Tony at their inquiry

“Once it’s ours. Like… ours ours?” Asked Harley confused

“Of course! I just changed the will. Once I kick the bucket it’s all yours. The money, the cars, the suits, the houses and Stark Industries of course. Naturally some of it’ll go to Pepper, Rhodey, Vision and Happy but the rest’ll go to you two” he said as if it were obvious as he got up

“But… why?” Peter asked brokenly

“Well… I haven’t got any kids, or family and… well… ahem… you two are the closest to having any I’ll ever get to so…” he said scratching his head as his voice catched. “I… I- you’re…” he took a deep breath “you’re my legacy” he said simply “I always thought my creations would be my legacy, my triumphs, my mistakes, mostly my mistakes. I thought the Merchant of Death would be my legacy. And I fought hard, harder than I thought I could to rectify that. But I just.. it was never enaugh, you know? And then Harley you came along and I watched as you grew smart and brave and sassy and everything I ever imagined you could be. And then Peter you came in the picture and it was even more perfect cause you’re just a kid but you take the weight on the world on your shoulders and you’re still able to smile and I just thought ‘I found it: this kids will be my legacy’ and I just… my life was so… empty, and then the two of you came and I just felt… like I had a future and it wasn’t so bad after all. Before you two I thought I couldn’t have a family, a chance at happiness” he lowered his eyes “thought I didn’t deserve it. And then this just… happened. And it feels so right I just can’t ignore it” he looked them “I can’t and I won’t so…” he looked back at them “yeah, you’re my legacy” he repeated “obviously you don’t have to, I understand if you don’t wanna be the Merchant of Death’s legacy, I- really it’s… its okay-”

Peter ran forward and embraced him in a (literally) bone crushing hug openly crying as Harley stayed behind, advancing slowly, looking anywhere but at them, his eyes suspiciously watery. As he arrived close enaugh Tony reached out and brought him in a one armed hug. 

“Well, is this a yes?” Tony asked smiling. The kids gave a watery laugh nodding.

Natasha watched with a smile as the three of them hugged each other fiercely. “Fry, snap a picture” she whispered as to not brake the moment.

* * *

He had to create a life-like model of the arm and leg for his first public appearance in months. The scars had to be covered but just a bit of make up would be enaugh. He also had to hide the arc reactor from view. A fake layer of skin on it would do. He would seem even more brawny than he already was, which wasn’t actually a problem if it kept the reactor from the rogues. They, and the world, couldn’t know what he lost, what Rogers did to him. Or the ‘perfect hero’ image of Rogers would shatter. And it couldn’t if they had to follow him in battle one last time. To save the world. To save the universe. They had to trust Rogers with their life. With their families’ lives. And they probably couldn’t if they knew that he lied to Tony. That he had beaten him. Left him. Broken him.   
So, there was no showing the rogues the not-so-there parts of him. Or the oh-so-there part of him in the reactor’s case. He had decided not to take it out completely since he could take advantage of it for his new suit. All he had to do was switch the reactor with the new one and the nanobots would take care of the shards. Until then the nanobots hadn’t taken the shards out because when they where injected in the body the shards were already there, and weren’t hurting him, so no need to take them out. But when he would replace the reactor with one that wouldn’t stop the them from entering his heart, and the shards would start to move, the nanobots would expel them. Sure, extremis wasn’t as strong as it could be since he didn’t want to endanger others by exploding. That was actually why it didn’t regrow his major limbs. It was weaker but safer. Not really his style, but he couldn’t risk to hurt anyone. 

So, the nanobots were gonna expel the shards by making him vomit them. They would take them to his stomach cutting through muscles and nerves and veins that would rebuild themselves almost immediately. Then they would use his esophagus as upside-down-slide, probably piercing here and there but the holes would also repair themselves and then all he had to do was spit them and try not to choke. 

He had already created the new arc reactor so that the whole suit would slide out of it as if it was water. Pym and Van Dyne ha worked with him for months on it. Peter and Harley had helped too. It took months. But it worked. He closed down the workshop. The kids walking in on their uncle/mentor/father figure/whatever he was to them vomiting shards of metal would probably scare them to death. He took a deep breath, ready to take the reactor out “Boss”

He let the breath out “what is it, baby girl?”

“I’m… I feel like when I lost you in Siberia… I’m concerned… I think. No that’s not the right word… I’m… I’m-” 

“Afraid, I think afraid is the word you’re looking for” he replied smiling sadly at the nearest camera. It was both a curse and a blessing to be able to feel. As it was not to feel.

“I don’t think I like this feeling”

“Neither do I baby girl. Hell, I don’t think anyone does, but it’s what keeps us alive, to feel afraid. It’s the feeling that moves us to act when we, or who we love, are in danger. And it’s good Fry, it’s scary but good.”

“Then how will you survive without it?”

“I…” he had no idea “I don’t know”

A moment of silence passed “I’ll protect you Boss” she promised

A smile creeped on his face. He could hear the determination in her voice. “…thanks Fry” he replied amazed at the speed his little girl grew . Looking at his reflection, he saw his own determination, and after taking another deep breath, he took the reactor out. He started feeling a tingling sensation in his chest, and he could see an arc reactor blue light coming from there. It was like when he as a child used to put his hand in front of a light and was able to see his own veins. But different cause he could see everything inside him. Organs, veins, bones and muscles. It was weird, but also kinda cool. He felt something warm in his chest, he looked up to the reflection to see the light moving to his stomach and then up leaving a blue trail to repair after the damage, the warm thing followed, leaving wide bruises along his skin. He was bleeding internally. Uh. But a moment later the bruises were just… gone. The light traveling up his esophagus and disappearing from his stomach as it went higher and higher. He tasted iron as the light moved to his throat. Suddenly he found his mouth full of blood, and fell to his knees puking, unable to breathe. The blood splashed to the ground covering his hands and knees. Dummy beeped worriedly, hovering beside him as his brothers rolled around hysterically not knowing what to do. He coughed violently as something other than blood made its way out of his body roughly, cutting his throat, tongue and lips and cluttering to the ground with a loud clang. That was only the first shard which was followed by the others in tow. Cutting and tearing his flesh they made their way to the floor.

There. 

Done.

Easy peasy 

He looked up just in time to see the light move to his lips, repairing the damage left, and disappearing. He sighed looking at the little scars that littered his lips. Just one more thing to cover up. He got on his feet and patted Dummy’s claw who was still beeping crazily “it’s okay buddy, I’m okay” he said trying to calm the bot down. “Dummy, hey Dum- yes, I’m fine, jeez. Calm down I’m okay. Clean that up, will you? Thanks” he turned around just to hear something being sprayed. He turned back to see Dummy spraying the blood and shards with the fire extinguisher. He closed his eyes shaking his head. He opened them to see Dummy watching him. He raised his thumbs up at him with a smile plastered on his face. Dummy went happily back to using his fire extinguisher. Tony huffed and passed a hand through his hair, smearing blood all over it. He didn’t notice at first, but then he catched his reflection once again. “Fantastic, now I need a shower”

“Boss?”

“Yeah Fry?”

“I feel the need to remind you once again that being soaked in blood shouldn’t be your only reason to shower”

“Thanks Fry, helpful as always” he replied sarcastically

“That’s what I’m here for Boss” she said cheerfully. As if she didn’t register the sarcasm in his voice. Right, like that was even possible. Damn him and his sarcastic AIs.


	13. We have Iron Man on our team!

Peter was walking down the hallway when Starlord caught up with him “h-hey Mister Lord! Ho-how can I help you?”

“Oh, no need for that I mean… Peter’s just fine”

“Your name’s Peter?”

“Yeah, why?”

“My name’s Peter too!” He said excitedly 

“No way dude!” They grinned at each other high fiving. After a moment the excitement passed leaving them standing in an awkward silence

“Wait, what do I call you? It woul be weird to call you by my name” Peter asked

“I guess you can call me Quill” Quill responded

“Okay Quill, what can I do for you?” Pete asked trying out the name

“I was wondering if you could… introduce me to all the new tech-stuff there is in this period? Please? I wanted to show my friends my earth… my home, but it seemes it has changed more than what I can possibly keep up with”

“Yeah sure whenever you want.”

“How about now?”

“Sure!”

“Thanks dude!”

Teaching Quill all the technology advances that there had been since his leaving earth was probably as hard as teaching an elderly to twerk. Once started it was impossible to get him to stop asking questions about a billion different things all at once. The overboard was particularly difficult to explain when he asked questions like “but… why?” So he decided to show him one. Bad idea. Quill insisted on trying it and when Peter tried to tell him to be careful he just replied with “I can pilot a space ship, i think I’ll be fine with-” he got interrupted from his own magnificent fall that got him sprawled on the floor grunting.

“You okay there?” Peter asked offering a hand which was gratefully accepted

“Tha-that’s dangerous you know?”

“Yeah… right, so… another round?” He offered

“you bet” he responded trying to ride it again, and falling, again. But he continued to try until he owned it. 

The next day were the new videogames. And again, explaining was rather difficult, so he decided to just play with him. Again, bad idea. He was so engrossed in the virtual reality he almost punched Pete… twice. When he realized what he’d almost done he apologized profusely asking if he was okay. Of course Peter was okay, he was basically a superhuman, almost nothing could really hurt him. Still, the day after he tried with something safer, just showing him the suits.

“Wait… who’s Iron Man?”

“Mr. Stark, why?

“What? That guy became a superhero?” He asked wide eyed

“Wait, you know who he is?”

“Well yeah… I was like eight when I was taken and he was like eighteen so I knew who he was, as did everyone else really. I just never imagined that he would become a superhero with all his… you know… shenanigans.”

“yeah, I guess from your point of view it must be pretty weird. But how did… how did you know the suit’s called Iron Man?” He asked confused 

“Dude! He’s known in all the galaxy! He’s the one who destroyed an entire army of Chitauri! Everyone knows who he is! Holy shit… We have Iron Man on our team! Wait, I gotta tell to the rest of the Guardians!” So he ran off to tell the others.

In the span of five minutes all the guardians were there asking questions.

Quill, of course, insisted on trying the suit on, claiming, once again, that he could pilot pretty much anything and ended up, to the great amusement of the Guardians and Peter’horror in the ceiling. Literally, in the ceiling.

Once they got him down and out of the suit Peter singled him out “Hey Quill? Why did you ask me for help?”

Quill scratched his neck “I was actually gonna ask Stark but the guy seemes always so busy, you know?”

“Yeah I know” Peter forrowed his brows “I actually worry about him a lot” after having passed three days with Quill he found him to be an easy guy to connect with. So he just let himself be vulnerable for a moment “He just keeps pushing himself harder and harder and I have to practically beg him to sleep and to eat and…” his lower lip wobbled “I’m worried he might actually run himself into the ground”

“Hey hey” Quill put his hand on Pete’s shoulder “it’s gonna be okay, he is gonna be okay. I’ll… I’ll make sure of it” he promised. 

Peter found himself believing him

 

* * *

Tony hadn’t really seen neither Thor or Bruce since they came to the compound, but he needed Bruce to help him build the new limbs to make them look realistic enaugh to fool the press and the rogues. He needed the movements to be more fluid and the skin to be realistic. So he tracked him down (read: asked F.R.I.D.A.Y.) and asked his help. The doctor agreed and then they were in the lab just like old times. Apart from the awkward silence and the weird looks Bruce was giving him that is.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked calmly without looking up from his work

He saw Bruce pause in his peripheral vision “what is what?” Tony just looked at him and raised an eyebrow “it’s just… why didn’t you explain your reasons to the others?”

He forrowed his brows in confusion “my reasons?”

“Your reasons” Bruce sighed “your reasons to agree to the Sokovia Accords? you know, the ones for which you fought Steve? You know what I’m talking about”

Tony kept on a neutral face “why do you think I had reasons other than the ones I told the others about in the first place?”

Bruce narrowed his eyes “you forget that I know you. You always have more than one reason to do what you do” Tony didn’t answer “I have to admit, when I heard from the others you agreed with Ross I was… disappointed. I felt betrayed you know?” Bruce looked away “You knew what he did to me, and you still sided with him. But… more I thought about it, and more I realized it didn’t feel right. You may have let guilt guide you in the past. But you are also rational. And loyal. You would have had needed more reasons than just guilt and you wouldn’t have betrayed me like that. So, what was it? Did Ross threatened you?”

Tony huffed “what gave me away?”

“‘If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later’” Bruce quoted, then he smiled “I watched the footage. You weren’t exactly subtle”

Tony scoffed “subtle enaugh for Rogers not to catch up” 

“Then why didn’t you explain yourself to him?”Bruce asked confused

“Well I couldn’t spell it out for him. Ross bugged the place. Wasn’t subtle about it either. He made sure that Friday knew. That I knew. It was a warning. That was all I dared to say” Bruce nodded “so, we okay now?” Tony extended his hand and Bruce accepted it, then tightened his hold and brought him in for a hug.

Bruce let out a breath “I knew you wouldn’t just betray us like that”

Tony didn’t need to fake a smile at the words, Bruce couldn’t see him. So he just patted his friend on the back. Most of the time he just faked his smiles and general reactions because he had to keep up the act that Tony Stark was still alive, and didn’t die the day Rogers drew his shield in his chest. When he was alone he faked still sometimes, because he was never really alone with F.R.I.D.A.Y. And he needed to keep her safe from his now emotionless nature. Sure, she knew about it but to know something and see it are pretty different things, and he didn’t wanna traumatize her. So he always had to ask himself what the old him would have done. Probably would have tried to alleviate the tension “So… you still wear the elastic-undies?”

Bruce barked out a laugh and detached himself “That’s not what they’re called”

“So you kept saying even when I made them. But, as I just said, I made them, shouldn’t I be able to name them?” Tony replied

Bruce rolled his eyes “You gifted them to me. I should be the one to name them”

“But Bruuuucie! I made them!” He whined

* * *

“Okay Guardians!-”

“Not part of the Guardians” Nebula interrupted annoyed to have been dragged away from her training 

“Okay team!-” he tried again

“Not a part of the team” she interrupted again

“Okay… group of people?” Quill tried once again

“Not exactly a person, more of an Android” and she interrupted once again

“-we-” Quill ignored her

“Not a part of the we” she interrupted making Rocket snigger and the corners of Gamora’s mouth turn up. 

“I am Groot”

“Yeah it’s definitely popping” Rocket replied, talking about the vein on Quill’s neck that Groot was referring to. He then fist-bumped Nebula

“-have a rescue mission!” Quill ended excitedly if not a little exasperated 

“Yeah! I missed blowing shit up!” Rocket yelled

“I am Groot” Groot agreed nodding 

“Actually, it’s more like an emotional rescue mission” Quill continued somewhat sheepishly “we gotta help Iron Man not die by making him stop run himself into the ground. Also we really should try to cheer him up, the guy seems dead on the inside when nobody’s watching” Nebula couldn’t help but snort

“Yeah! I missed blowing shit up!” Rocket yelled again.

“Rocket-” Gamora started

“What? Maybe the guy like explosions” he defended himself

“I am Groot”

“See! It’s not a bad idea!”

Quill sighed. This was gonna take a while


	14. A god’s apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids being kids, Vison, and Nebula

“Agent Little to Agent Uncle. Target spotted. I repeat, target spotted” Lila’s soft voice called through the comm

Tony looked at her and Cassie from the opposite side of the room. He patted Charlie’s head. The dog was friendlier than he looked. He was a German Shepherd with a nasty scar covering his left eye. The Bartons found him him beaten in an alley some years before and took him in. He seemed menacing but the feeling left when you looked at those big brown eyes. He tapped his comm looking over the corner of the hallway he was crouched behind to see the target “copy that Agent Little. Agent Little Senior, do you copy?” Cooper coughed to cover up his yes, as he was the one distracting the target “Agent Little, Agent Squirt, you are clear to engage” he nodded at them end they nodded back. Then they threw themselves at Thor’s back, trying to tackle him, the dog running to them and barking at the god.

“GOTCHA!” Lila squealed in delight

“You are under arrest for being mean, do NOT resist!” Cassie half yelled still trying to tackle him

“Get on the ground, Mister Odison!” Cooper instructed pointing his bubble gun at Thor, his grip on the gun something to be proud of. 

When nothing but a startled laugh happened, Tony let himself be seen by Thor, his stance relaxed, he leaned against the wall as he let his mouth stretch. Showing his teeth. Morphing his smile in that familiar grin that made so many people tremble with fear. A grin that he had never directed towards his own teammates. At the same time he let Extremis run through his eyes, making them shine in a startling threatening blue light. Thor’s eyes widened and, as soon as Tony looked at the little girls and back at him, he threw himself to the ground feigning defeat.

“Oh… no! You got me!” Thor said in an unusual small voice, nervous smile obviousely forced.

“Yeah, that’s right! And now say sorry for what you did!” Cassie demanded as Cooper handcuffed him. And where, exactly, had Cooper found the cuffs?

Thor looked at the little girls “sorry”

“What? Not to us, you dummy! To Uncle Tony!” 

Tony was confused to say the least. The kids hadn’t told him about this part of the plan.

Thor seemed just as confused, but defeated. He looked at Tony with forrowed brows “sorry St- Tony” 

Okay, now Tony was even more confused, why in the world would Thor apologize? The first time he strangled Tony he didn’t. And what was with the first name thing? He had never called him anything other than Stark or Man of Iron. He kept a neutral face on and let a little smile grace his lips. To seem ungrateful would not do. He needed Thor on his team. “It’s okay Rapunzel” but then F.R.I.D.A.Y. told him Laura was coming his way through his comm, and her finding him with the kids ambushing Thor would mean either a very amused snort or a glare that could kill, and he wasn’t gonna gamble his life. “Ok kiddos, Mama Bear is on her way, we gotta run” he gently threw Cooper over his shoulder

“Hey!” Coop yelled startled, laughing all the same

He gathered Cassie with his other arm and crouched for Lila to climb on his back. Once he had all the kids secured, he ran from the room, the dog following happily, the kids sniggering at the mental image of Laura walking in on an handcuffed god. He was reluctant of letting them go once he had ran across most of the compound since they laughed madly every time he turned a corner. So, before he put them down, he spinned a couple of times on himself, smiling at the mad laughter it provoked.

“I’ll see you later munchkins” he said as he walked away from the still laughing children

 

* * *

As he was walking to his workshop he noticed Vision staring at the place Wanda had pushed him through. There was no hole anymore, but he could bet Vision still saw it.

He came to a stop beside the android. When he didn’t notic his presence he made himself known “Hey Viz”

Vision startled 

He pretended not to notice “whatcha looking at?”

Red and Mighty looked at him with a confused expression “You don’t remember?”

“You kiddin’? Of course I remember” he looked at the spot where there previously was a hole “I’m the one who paid for the repair bill” he joked. 

The android didn’t laugh. But he still smiled, even if it was a really small smile. He counted it as a win

He placed a hand on Vision’s shoulder, moving him away from the spot and towards the wall-length windows “Viz, I’ve meant to have a talk with you for a while now, and I think now’s the time”

That finally got the android to look at him “are you angry?”

“What? No, of course not” he looked out the window again “I think, you should see a therapist. I’m concerned about you” 

Vision looked at him perplexed “you think I am mentally unstable?”

“No, no. I just thought it would help you, buddy. You’re going through your first heartbreak and I can only do so much. You’re processing emotions you didn’t know you had for the first time and I can tell you, it won’t be the last” he looked back at the android “I trust you to know what’s best for you, if you don’t want to, it’s no problem, kiddo. Do what you feel like doing”

Vision nodded “if you think it would be best for me to talk to someone, I will”

Tony sighed “Vision, you shouldn’t have to do it to make me happy. You should do it because you want to”

Vision nodded once again “I know. I think it would benefit me to talk to a therapist” he than looked into Tony’s eyes “and, Tony, I trust you to know what’s bast for me too”

He gave a little smile and went back to his workshop

* * *

He had created a method to make the arm and leg he had created with Bruce respond to his commands as if they were real. They responded to a chip that had extremis’ code in it, so that they wouldn’t get in each other’s way. He had also updated Extremis’ code. He would never be as strong as Rogers, but he would be faster. He still wouldn’t be able to regrow limbs bigger than a finger, but bullets wouldn’t be a problem anymore. He had also modified the chip so that it would interact with his brain and Extremis to give him acces to all technology someone could hack his way into. Basically by installing this chip he would become a computer. This would let him work faster and more easily. It would also help him analyze fight patterns more efficiently should he be separated from F.R.I.D.A.Y. Not to mention the impossibility of being tracked down if he hacked something with his mind. Sure, the possibilities of being tracked down were already slim thanks to his skills as hacker, but this would nullify those chances. All he had to do was to insert the chip in his brain. 

A child’s play

The chip itself was small. It resembled a contact lense. All he had to do was make a small incision in his skull and lay the chip on the cut. The chip would activate and melt just like the suit did. It would melt inside the wound and root itself inside his brain by extending in thousands of wires thinner than hair. They would reach every part of his brain basically transforming it into a computer. And then he would be able to travel through the internet with his mind and move his arm and leg normally. Sure, the previous ones moved easily enaugh, but their movements were jerky at best and he couldn’t actually feel most things. Also the new limbs were more realistic thanks to Bruce. They had hairs and a substance identical to blood they would release if cut. They could also change color to imitate bruises if hit. And once he inserted the chip Extremis would send them the body’s temperature so that they could replicate it. Bruce didn’t know about the process to implant the chip- or even about the chip itself actually. Also, the new arm and leg were able to transform into a suit each. So, counting also the armor in his arc-reactor, he would be wearing three armors. You know, safety first. 

He had created a little surgery bot that would supervise the surgery. He had named it B.O.T. (Bearer of torture) just because he could. He had also shooed F.R.I.D.A.Y. from the room making her promise not to come back again until he said so. He had done it to try not to traumatise her any more, but she had insisted someone be there with him. Hence Nebula standing confused in the doorway. 

She was the only person that not only knew about his absence of feelings and emotions but also wasn’t close to him, so she could remain calm during the operation. So he didn’t need to fake being in pain and didn’t need to be worried about traumatizing someone from seeing him bleed to death should the surgery go wrong. Also, all the horrible things she must’ve seen when under Thanos’ orders should have made her capable of staying level headed in this situations, which was a plus.

“You called me” she didn’t ask, she stated

Actually, she might be the only person he didn’t have to pretend with. “I did” he answered simply

She cocked her head “care to explain why?”

“I need your help” she raised an eyebrow and walked closer “I need to have surgery and there has to be someone to supervise the whole thing” 

“Isn’t there a surgeon already?”

“Nope”

She tilted her head in a silent question

“I have Bot for that” 

She kept her head tilted

“It’s an A.I.” He finally explained

She nodded in understanding “is it safe?”

He shrugged “Safe enaugh”

She took a step closer “Then why do you need me?”

“Fry is worried”

She raised an eyebrow 

“Another A.I.”

She forrowed her brows “how can an A.I. be worried?”

“I… it’s complicated” 

She crossed her arms, waiting 

“I… I made it so she could learn how to behave from her environment, by searching behavioural patterns in the people surrounding her. At a certain point she learned how to mimick those behaviours and made them hers. Honestly I thought it would take her years to accomplish anything resembling human patterns, but she is quite something, my kid” he said the last part looking at the nearest camera. If all went well then F.R.I.D.A.Y would replay the footage of it, and maybe he could make her feel better about all this.

She nodded “alright, I’ll help you” 

He raised his eyebrows at her readiness to help him but didn’t question it. He had expected her to at least try to convince him not to do it.

She came closer “what do I need to do?”

He clapped his hands “right!” He he motioned for her to come closer “so, I’m gonna make Bot” he pointed to the robot “make a teeny tiny incision in my head, deep enaugh to cut through the bone but not deep enaugh to touch the brain-”

“He can do that?” She asked

“Sure hope so” he mumbled looking at B.O.T. 

“What?”

“Nothing” he looked back at her “I built him for that purpose, so yeah, he can” he said with a convinction he didn’t feel “anyway! He’ll cut through my skull and put this” he showed her the chip “on the cut. All you’ll have to do is check I don’t bleed out should something go wrong”

After all, he only risked his premature death.

“Easy peasy!”

**Author's Note:**

> Love the comments, so if you have questions, suggestions, critique or just wanna say something I’d love nothing more than to answer you!


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